Interpersonal Relationships


Interpersonal relationships speak specifically to relationships in which we are invested personally. While anytime an individual engages in any form of communication with another an interpersonal relationship has been instigated such a definition is too broad to be of any real value. For the purposes of this component of the pastor’s life it is important to focus on relationships that involve three factors: (a) a chronological factor that indicates repeated interaction, (b) the capacity to mutually enhance one another’s life, and (c) an emotional investment – that is that the relationship impacts upon our emotional state in one form or another.


Personal Factors

  1. Demonstrate, define, and articulate the importance of personal integrity.
  2. Able to clearly communicate List personal strengths and weaknesses.
  3. Explain the importance of self- acceptance and not taking themselves too seriously.
  4. Demonstrate the capacity to distinguish between an opinion and personal identity – that is: I am who I am before God; I am not what I think is right in any situation.
  5. Have an awareness of Explain the impact of personality and its impact upon perception.
  6. Explain Clearly express what healthy boundaries mean and are.


Factors related to the other

  1. Demonstrate knowledge of how to value the other in communication and encounter.
  2. Be able to listen effectively and demonstrate an awareness of the skills of active listening.
  3. Be aware of the importance, and able to articulate an understanding, of listening for the “real issues” – that is when listening to another being aware that the message they are communicating is probably only the vehicle for the real message.
  4. Demonstrate a capacity to foster a desire for healthy relationships in others.


Conflict management and resolution

As all meaningful interpersonal relationships will at one point, or another, involve conflict it is important to understand and embrace healthy forms of conflict management and resolution.

  1. Demonstrate an awareness of how to engage in conflict without attacking the other – avoidance of arguments that are ad hominem.
  2. Be able to articulate another’s argument, even if disagreed with, to the point that the other accepts that you understand. Be aware that in a conflict it is unlikely that another will effectively hear what you are saying until they believed that you have heard what they are saying.
  3. Know and demonstrate the importance of healthy conflict that does not lead to broken relationship.

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